Sideshow School - 2nd Class - Fire Transfers and Nails up the Nose

Well, the New York Times showed up at our second class, not that I’m bitter (Get your own fucking story you dirty vultures! This one is still alive!)

ANYWAY, Times aside, it was a fascinating and productive class. We shifted from q-tips to ten-penny six-inch nails and I was able to wiggle all six inches of steel up my nostril on the first go. It feels a little strange and doesn’t hurt too much as long as I steady it with one hand. Unfortunately after my first success my nostril started to swell, preventing from placing the nail more than two or three inches deep.

We also learned a neat trick to add onto the fire eating called a transfer. A transfer basically involves lighting one torch on fire and the lighting either your hand or tongue on fire and using your burning body part to set fire to a second torch. For some reason this is more psychologically intimidating to me than eating fire. I think this is because when you eat fire, you can’t really see the flames; when you light your hand on fire you’re watching it the entire time and it’s hard not to flip out.

It has occurred to me that a good way to simulate an allergy attack is to attend sideshow school. My nostrils are tender from nails, my throat sore from swallowing a straightened out coat-hanger and there’s a general funk in my face from all the lighter fluid off the fire I’ve been eating.